When I'm 64
by OriginalPippie
Summary: Kelso describes a fantasy about how they will still be doing the same old thing when they are old. The beginning is kind of HJ which is something very rare for my 70s stories. I beleive this was written somewhere around the 6th season.


The gang sat in the basement watching TV. They were in their usual spots, and talking about the same old things.

"Oh man. Didn't we just see this episode?" Eric complained.

"Yeah I think we did. And we were sitting in these exact spots too." Said Donna

"No you were sitting over there. I remember because I could see up your skirt." Hyde commented.

Jackie, who was on the footstool lying across Hyde's legs, glanced up at her boyfriend.

"That's weird." She said.

"What is?" Asked Kelso

"I remember having this exact conversation before." Jackie answered.

The theme to Twilight Zone began to play. Fez stood up and walked over to the TV, turning down the volume. He clapped his hands as he sat back down.

"Goody! I love this show!"

It was silent for a moment, except for the TV. Eric looked around at his friends.

"Hey guys? We do the same thing every week."

"So?"

"I was just wondering. What are we all gonna do when we're all old?" He half laughed.

"That's a good question Forman. But we'll probably be doing the same old thing then, except we'll be old." Hyde answered.

Kelso laughed. ""Hey I think it will be something like this…"

Kelso smiled as he went into a fantasy.

The doorbell rang for the fourth time and the stairs creaked beneath his feet.

"I'm coming!" His voice was raspy and aged. The doorbell rang again. "I said I'm coming!" He wheezed a little and sucked phlegm into his throat, resulting in a hacking cough. "Who put these damn stairs here?" He grumbled to himself.

Once he reached the bottom of the stairs he adjusted his pants, pulling them up to his potbelly. He looked around the room with a squint, wondering why it was so blurry, and ran a hand through his white curls.

"Why'd I come down here?" The doorbell answered his question. "Oh yeah!"

He walked over to the front door and opened it. Standing there looking embarrassed was the woman he was married to for almost forty-three years. Her dull black and silver-streaked hair was done up in a bun in the back of her head, and her nylon stocking were pulled up to hr knees beneath her skirt. She shrugged her shoulders with a sheepish grin.

"Jackie." Hyde chuckled. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"So I forgot my key again."

"I made you the spare."

"I now but the darn thing is just so hard to keep tract of."

"How hard is it to keep a key on a key ring?"

"How hard is it to remember your glasses?"

"Huh?" He reached up and touched his face. "Oh so that's why it's so blurry. Thought I needed to change my prescription again."

"We make one heck of a couple, Steven. What with me constantly losing the house key, and you forgetting to WEAR your glasses."

She walked into the kitchen and he went into the living room.

"Oh my. Steven just look at this place! We need to dust and vacuum, and I need to make snacks…" She listed as she picked up Hyde's glasses from the kitchen table. "We really should have done all this sooner Steven."

Jackie looked over at her husband, who was sitting in his favorite recliner.

"Steven are you listening to me?" She walked over and stood next to the chair. "Steven you didn't get tired of hearing me talk so you turned your hearing aid off, again, did you?" Looking again she saw that he had nodded off. "Steven!"

Hyde jumped awake. "What? I wasn't doing any thing I swear!" He looked at her disappointed. "Damn it. I was hoping it was Death this time." He half joked, which resulted in a slap against the back of his head by his wife. "I'm sorry Jackie were you still talking?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Here." She said as she handed him his glasses. "Put your glasses on you old grump and help me."

"Help you with what?"

"God you're so bad Steven! They're coming over soon and we need to clean the house."

"Who's coming over?"

"Steven! I can't believe you forgot. Eric and Donna, Michael and Fez."

"Oh! Shit Jackie why didn't you tell me?"

"You knew they were coming! You told me about it yesterday!"

"I did?" Hyde tried to hold his laugh back.

"Stop it!" Jackie playfully hit him once she caught on. "I hate it when you do that!"

"Why do you think I do it?" He smiled.

A couple hours later the six friends were reunited. They all might have been the same on the inside, but they all had changed on the outside, for forty-six years had aged them.

Eric was still just as skinny, but with a layer of flab on his belly. His hair had thinned, lightened, and a receding line had grown in. Like Hyde, he too sported eyeglasses. Even though his face had developed wrinkles and the skin lost its elasticity, his boyish expression still managed to shine through.

Donna's hair had turned into a blend of strawberry blonde and white, and was normally kept pulled back in a loose ponytail. On a chain around her neck was a pair of glasses, which she used for reading. She was still just as beautiful as ever, with an exception for a couple of sagging details among other aged features.

Fez hardly changed in his aging. His hair was the same black and silver as Jackie's, and he sported a salt and pepper colored mustache.

Kelso didn't age much either. His hair was cut a lot shorter and obviously underwent a dye job to cover up unwanted gray. He now wore a hearing aid, like Hyde, and needed a walker to get around. He had lost much of his hearing in one ear, twenty years prior, after a bullet was fired near his head. His hip was severely injured after it caught the second bullet that was fired at him while on duty. That's when he retired from the force at only forty-five years old.

Hyde, Eric, and Fez waited around the table in the kitchen while Kelso slowly made his way over to them.

"C'mon Kelso would you hurry it up?" Hyde teased.

"Yeah we ain't getting any younger in here!" Added Eric.

"I've watched some of my hair turn gray and that didn't take as long as you!"

"Nice on Fez!" Hyde said as he gave him a low five.

"Shut up! I'm not that slow and you know it. Just don't start the circle without me." Kelso said.

"Oops. Too late." Eric said once Kelso finally made it to the table. "Should've gotten here sooner buddy."

"What do you mean you started already? We have a rule. The circle doesn't start until every ass is in its spot."

"We're old. Rules changed." Said Fez.

"Yeah so park it." Hyde instructed.

"Alright. So what did you guys use instead of the old usual?" Kelso asked as he sat down. He looked at the table and saw an overturned pill bottle. "Hey! That was my medication! You could have used something else."

"We could've. But we didn't." Said Eric.

"Why didn't you?" Kelso wined.

"How would that be funny?" Asked Hyde with a smirk.

Jackie and Donna sat on the couch in the living room listening to the 'boys'.

"I know. I can't believe they're still circling after all these years. Of course they're no longer surrounded by smoke."

Just after Donna finished her sentence the smell of smoke came from the kitchen.

"Steven!" Jackie scolded.

"What?'

"You put that cigarette out right now!"

"Who are you my mother?"

"_Steven._"

"What the hell Jackie? I've been smoking for years and you never once said any thing about it before."

"That was before the doctor told you to quit."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Screw the damn doctor. Since when was it a crime for a man to smoke in his own home?" He flicked some ashes into the ashtray and muttered under his breath. "Bitch."

"What was that Steven?"

"You didn't hear anything." He puffed on the cigarette again with a content smile. "You bitch." He muttered again.

"What's the matter Hyde? Too scared to say that to her face?" Eric asked with a grin.

"No. I call her a lot worse than that to her face all the time. I just don't feel it's necessary to want a simple bitch on her when she can hear it."

"Sure Hyde. Whatever you say."

"Don't believe me huh? Hey Jack. Why don't you tell Forman what nasty thing I called you earlier?"

"Uh-uh. I'm not repeating that in front of everyone." She answered from the other room.

"See?"

"All right I'll count that one. But this will be the only time." Eric said with disappointment.

Donna looked at Jackie with a grin.

"So what _did _he call you?" She whispered.

"Ah he didn't call me any thing." Jackie giggled.

"I knew it. Man this really brings back memories, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. Hey Donna remember this?" She asked while she opened a large photo album that was sitting on the coffee table.

"Oh is that _the _photo album?"

"It is!"

Jackie flipped through some of the pages and stopped on one.

"The night the guys painted the pot leaf on the water tower." She said as she pointed to the page.

Donna laughed. "Yeah. Hyde was right. It really did look like a green hand giving the finger." She flipped the page. "Oh! These are from when Eric's cousin Penny visited. Ugh! Check out Eric in his red underwear!"

"Steven put those in there." Jackie said as she flipped a few more pages. "Yours and Eric's wedding."

"My God! Look at me!" Donna shrieked.

"Yeah. White so isn't your color."

"No. I look so young there. So beautiful."

"But not as beautiful as…" Jackie turned a few more pages. "I looked at my wedding! Or any day for that matter."

"Hard to believe those pictures were taken in 1982. It's been what… 43 years since you and Hyde got married?"

"Yeah. 43 years next month."

"I still can't believe you two made it _one _year. Or that Hyde actually broke down and proposed to you when he did."

"Uhh!" Jackie reached out and pinched Donna in the arm.

"Ow! Don't pinch me you midget!" Donna pinched Jackie back.

"Ow! Why you… lumberjack!" She slapped Donna.

"Ow! Jackie!"

Donna slapped Jackie, which caused Jackie to pull her hair. Cheers and applause from the guys, who were now standing by the couch, interrupted their fight.

"Aw knock it off and go back to your circle." Donna said.

The guys turned and 'booed' back into the kitchen. They all went back to talking. Donna and Jackie turned their heads toward the kitchen once they caught part of an interesting topic.

"I told you guys before. I don't dye my hair!" Kelso said sounding embarrassed. The other three guys smirked at him. "I don't!"

"Yeah right Kelso. And Hyde uses his cane to help him walk." Said Eric.

"I do too!" Hyde said. He grinned with a small laugh. "You're right I don't."

"Alright fine! But this stays in the circle. I do dye my hair." They just laughed at him. "It's not funny!"

Fez looked at Hyde. "If you don't use your cane to help you walk, what _do _you use it for?"

Hyde shrugged. "Uh different things. Like if I'm comfortable in my chair and I can't find the TV remote… or if I need something to help me threaten the bratty kids down the street…" he paused and laughed. "But most of the time I just use it to annoy Jackie. Hey the other day Jackie was bending over and she had on this skirt. So I grabbed my cane and used it to flip up the back of it."

"Man she must have been pissed at you, huh?" Kelso remarked.

"I wish I were that cane." Said Fez. "It got to go under Jackie's skirt."

They all laughed together.

"Man. Things really haven't changed." Eric said.

"Hey. There's this car that runs on water…" Hyde said before getting stuff thrown at him.

Kelso's fantasy ended and they were all cracking up with laughter. Jackie sat up and leaned forward while holding her stomach.

"I can't breathe!" She said through laughs.

"Man Kelso that was the funniest thing I ever heard!" Hyde howled while leaning back in his chair.

Donna reached up and wiped her watery eyes.

"The best part was I can actually see us being like that when we're older. Except for the sagging boobs part." She looked at Jackie and half winked.

"Glad to hear that Donna. Because the saggy boob part was just unpleasant. I like yours just how they are. Young, firm, and perky." Eric said.

"Thanks. But you're still not getting any until we're married."

"I really do wish I was a cane." Said Fez, causing eyes to turn in his direction. "But Jackie isn't wearing a skirt." He pouted. "What am I saying? I just wish I could be Jackie's panties."

"Dude. Fez it's one thing for Donna and Eric to talk about saggy boobs. But you saying that you wish were Jackie's panties… that's crossing over to weird." Said Kelso.

"Yes. But that would be the closest I would be able to get some from her… or any girl for that matter."

"Hey. Enough talk. Let's get down to something more important. I believe it's time for the circle." Said Hyde while he pulled a brown paper bag from his pocket.

They all gathered around the table to once again do the same old thing.


End file.
